Me, Myself and I ♥
Coming out to my mom:
me: hey uh, can we talk? you might want to sit down
mom: ...okay. are you pregnant..?
me: well uh no. but. promise you'll still love me?
mom: of course, just tell me.
me: well uh. I'm...I like...gir-...I'm gay.
mom: oh. well yeah. I knew that.
me: ...what? what do you mean?
mom: let's see, at age one you screamed if any male besides your father, grandfather, or uncle held you. we used to think it was strangers but you'd always reach out to be held by women. At age 4, you brought back a colored in princess from pre-school during fairytale week and told me she was your wife. At age 6, you had naked barbies strewn across the floor, and Ken was left in his box. When I asked you who the husband and daddy was going to be, you said "who needs those?". At age 8, I noticed you always being the 'dad' when you played house so you got to kiss the 'mom', and ever since you turned 13 you check out any attractive woman coming your way.
mom: oh and I still love you.